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CLOSENESS AND DISTANCE IN RELATIONSHIPS



 You can be a thousand miles separated emotionally while in the same bed and on the other hand,  be as close as the next heartbeat even if you are physically separated by several miles from each other. Have you ever had the experience of feeling a loss of connection between you and your partner even though you were within a touching distance? On the other hand, have you ever felt so close to someone you don’t see frequently or that you don't really know that much?

  Can you explain the paradox? I have experienced both more than once and I am trying to understand and unravel the root cause of this distance and closeness paradox. Yet, I don't have a definitive answer, but I feel I am getting closer to the core of the issue faster than I imagined.

 Closeness or distance could come in different forms: emotional, physical, financial, spiritual, sexual, and psychological. I have felt very close emotionally to someone yet several miles apart physically. I have felt disconnected with someone spiritually and at the same time experienced a great bonding in other areas. How about you? Have you had similar experiences? Now, If you are in a relationship and do not feel connected to your partner or significant other in any reasonable way, I think you need to reconsider the value of this relationship on your path and define what purpose it is serving and what you stand to gain in the overall picture of your relationship agenda or needs.

 The real issue here is when we are close in some ways and distant in others. For instance, if you have a dire need for more love, emotional closeness or romance but your partner’s pressing need is for better financial security or something different from what you need at that point in time, you will never bridge this gap because you both are focusing on a totally unrelated areas. You will tend to bring the unresolved resentments, expectations, guilt, baggage etc. into the other areas of your relationship which will contribute to a greater distance and more dysfunction. The fact is, you may not do this consciously, but you will certainly do it unknowingly.

 I am of the opinion that you spend some time and figure out where you are close and far apart in your current relationship and the overall impact on the relationship based on your needs and expectations. If you don't do a critical evaluation on a practical basis acknowledging both the positive and negative vibes in your relationships, you may be heading for a serious disappointment.

 

 

 

 

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